After my dentist appointment, I went home to visit my brother and Cookie today. Ian and I killed some time before he had to go to school watching VH1's The Fabulous Life of Hip Hop Superstars. When he left I had the house to myself, so I decided to clean out some of the junk out of what used to be my room. I found some change (woo hoo) and my old high school diary. Back in the day, I was really into diaries. There's a bunch of them hidden around in my room that I started, but never finished. Lately I have been trying to avoid reminiscing about certain parts of my life (high school being one of them) because they were filled with some of the most painful regrets. It almost hurts to look at all of it, even the good times, since what was is over and there are so many things that could have, would have, should have will never be. Boxes and boxes of photos and other momentos are left untouched, unscrapbooked and under the bed. But today something allowed me to read the gushings of a 15 year old girl, and I smiled. I smiled at the way she wrote mah and anneawaes instead of my and anyways. I smiled at her goals and to do lists. I smiled at all the end of the world dramas that seem silly now. And I smiled because even though that girl still has a lot more things to work on, she can look at all the embarrassment, heartache, tears, and silliness and smile.